Auschwitz

Barbed wire in and around the camp.

Today I had one of the most profound experiences of my life. A three hour bus ride from the Czech Republic to Poland landed me at Auschwitz - the largest concentration/extermination camp during the Nazi regime in Germany. Here is my experience.

Today was a cold, cutting and eerie day in Poland and when we arrived at Auschwitz, me and about 100 others did not know what to expect from a museum that commemorates an ugly and disturbing chapter in world history.

Gypsies.

As we broke into smaller groups, our tour guide - a Polish woman who spoke English very well - took us to the start of the tour, which is the main gate at Auschwitz. The gate reads: "Arbeit macht frei" - which in German means, "work will make you free." She explained that when the Jews, Russians, Gypsies and Poles were brought to Auschwitz, it was under the auspices of working for a new life. They were told that they were being  relocated - they were lied to.

One of the cell blocks.

As we were led through the different 'blocks,' you could feel a presence in the buildings. Something big happened here. Something that lingers and even smells. People were passed through these buildings, tortured and killed. There were moments when I couldn't hold back tears and there were other moments when I could feel nothing but shock - all of my senses numb.

Human hair.

Moments that were especially difficult were the moments I was not expecting. We walked into a room with a huge glass casing of human hair. I'm not kidding when I say this thing was huge. Prisoners of the camp were shaved of all hair. And those who were executed in the gas chambers right away were shaved post death. They would process the hair and send it back to Germany to use for textiles. A lot of hair was still at Auschwitz at the time of liberation and the historians preserved it for the museum. It was really one of the most intense sights of the day for me. Hard to explain why, but I guess it is just as simple as realizing that the hair belonged to someone - a person, a human being.

A child's toy.

Another moment that was particularly intense was the sight of baby clothes, shoes and toys. Senseless murder of children. Babies were not useful, so they were killed. I think our tour guide said that out of the 7,000 children that came to Auschwitz only 600 survived. Seeing their clothes and shoes and broken belongings was an emotion so strong, I could not hold back.

A baby's shoe.

A prosthetic leg. These were also collected in abundance.

A woman's shoe.

Shoes of men and women.

Again, I must reiterate the cold today. The kind of cold that hurts. The Polish sky was vast, haunting and really beautiful. All of the trees have lost their leaves and there is just this calm, dead sense in the air. Fitting for a place such as Auschwitz.

The barbed wire fences were highly charged.

Gas chamber.

As we rounded up the end of the tour of the main Auschwitz camp, we made a stop at the only gas chamber/crematorium in Auschwitz (there were four at the other part of Auschwitz called Birkenau). They actually let us walk inside the gas chamber. I was not expecting that at all. We walked in and its a cold dark room - similar to an old cellar. Brick and stone everywhere and random holes in the ceiling - for where the gas pellets were dropped. The next room was the crematorium. This was another one of those moments that grabbed me. There were ovens in this room and they were used to burn the bodies that had just been killed in the gas chamber. Ovens for human bodies.

Crematorium.

Empty cans of Cyclone B. The gas used to kill prisoners.

It was a really intense way to end that portion of the tour. But it didn't end there. We took a short bus ride to the other section of Auschwitz called Auschwitz II Birkenau. The facilities at Birkenau were even more grotesque - if thats at all possible. Wooden shacks filled with bunks - 8 people to a bunk. Wooden shacks with stone made "toilets". Prisoners were only allowed to use the bathroom twice a day and many suffered from diarrhea and dysentery. We learned that at Birkenau, many of the gas chambers and structures were hastily destroyed by the Germans before liberation - as a way to hide evidence. Even still there were structures left behind and plenty of evidence found.

The final moments of our tour led us to the end of a train track that ran through the middle of the camp. It was at this point that prisoners exited cattle carts from the train and their fate was decided. A Nazi shoulder divided the prisoners into two lines - men on one side and women & children on the other side. And one by one the Nazi decided - just by looking at them - if they were fit to work or if they were "useless" and were to be executed on the spot. Those were could work were robbed of their possessions and sent one way to the camp. Those who were to be executed were immediately escorted to the gas chamber. In one glance, their fate was determined. Those who were put to work were 'exterminated' slowly - by starvation, disease, abuse and torture.

Prisoners were shipped in on these tracks.

It had gotten dark by the time we stood by those train tracks and our tour guide wrapped up the day. The last thing she said was another one of those moments when I could not hold back. She said - "Please remember, we cannot be bystanders. Genocide is something that still occurs in the world today and we cannot be bystanders and let it happen. We do have the power to do something about it. Please remember that always."

She died within a few months.

That moment was really rough on me. The entire time I was at Auschwitz, I thought about my personal perspective and the knowledge that genocide for race, religion, creed, class happens every day in this world. World War II is a gross and epic example of it. I think it is important to remember moments in history that changed people - and this was one of those. My personal perspective is confused. I get confused when I try to understand how something this violating and wrong can happen. But I stop myself and realize that no one understands it.

I am grateful for my life - a healthy, bountiful and meaningful life. I will remember the faces I saw on those walls forever. The memories of those who died there are in every square inch of Auschwitz. They have a voice at Auschwitz and their stories are remembered. I don't even know if any of this is the right thing to say. Is there a right thing to say? Who knows. I just wanted to get some of these emotions out. And I look forward to seeing my family and friends and telling them how much I love them.